To the Ladies at My Church

Dear Women of Fairfield,

Nobody asked me to write this.  (And I didn’t ask for permission, either.)  I just felt burdened by something weighing on my mind. And since I’M the one with the burden, I figured I needed to be the one who started the conversation.

Sisters, I’m concerned for the emotional health of our daughters.

I’m concerned that even the ministries which are trying to target the needs of young girls are going about it the wrong way. And I’m concerned that we’re letting young ladies grow up to be women who are controlled by their emotions–instead of giving them resources to bring their emotions under God’s control.

I once heard emotions described as “horses” that God gives us, to serve him.

Used correctly, they can take us where we need to go quickly. (And they can be fun!)

But, without the proper training, they can run off—with us clinging helplessly to their backs!—putting us in danger of hurting ourselves AND everyone around us.

Like horses, feelings are not all “good” or all “bad” by themselves.   Also, we can’t always control when they try to jump or buck or stampede. But, a young Christian girl who wants to grow into a wise WOMAN of God must be taught the skills to strive for emotional maturity and bring those horses into submission.

Usually we recognize there are certain temptations that tend to affect boys. I believe our sons are being taught to guard their eyes from lewd images and to use their God-given muscles to protect, rather than to hurt, their families.

But can we think of “female” sins and temptations to warn our daughters about?

When was the last time you had a conversation among women about the pitfalls WE AND OUR DAUGHTERS must avoid?  Do you know a young woman who feels like she’s going crazy because she’s restless, frustrated, sad, or generally struggling with negative emotions, and none of the “professionals” seem able to help?  (Side note: that was totally ME not very long ago…)

These are the things I want Women of God to begin addressing, and I believe it can start with regular conversations between women at Fairfield.  Paul says that older women must “be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.”

Maybe reading about being busy at home or subject to your husband makes a few of your “horses” try to buck and run.  😉  If so, that’s okay!  I want to open the dialog about how it should look, practically, to be a reverent woman of God in 2020—and how we can keep our cool, have spiritual discernmetn, make our husbands look good, and model self-control for our children and grandchildren…

I’m formally inviting you to my home.

Literally, any time you’re able to drop by, you are welcome to be part of everyday life.   But specifically: every Wednesday, from 10:00am through 5:00pm. And every Sunday, from Noon to 5:00pm.  If you come during these times, you’re almost guaranteed to meet other sisters in Christ here.

These weekly family gatherings are “Open House Style.” My sisters come and go as needed, they bring their children, and we encourage each other to keep the faith. We talk about anything/everything that’s on our minds, while our kids play.  We bring whatever we have in our fridges to share for lunch, and we often end up having dinner together as well because no one wants to leave.

The kids sometimes fight.

Toys and furniture sometimes get broken.

And sometimes we disagree sharply about something and our horses want to run off screaming.  😊

But we are deeply, deeply committed to holding each other accountable and training our children, so that someday they can be leaders rather than victims of their own sin natures.

Does this sound like something you want to be a part of?

Then join us!   Contact me directly for my address.

You don’t have to call. You don’t have to worry that it might be awkward. (It will be, at first, but we’ll work through it…)   If you want to help us rock some cradles and rule the world, then you belong.

Reach out if you don’t have my address.  Let’s reclaim Femininity and show our daughters how real “girl power” can look.

Yours in Christ,

Mandy (Branyan) McKinney

2 thoughts on “To the Ladies at My Church

  1. rhondacrosser

    Again you have spoken some true wisdom. I love love love this idea! As the children’s director at my church I think I would find moms who would love this and quite honestly they need it. I may have to borrow your idea and I would love more info on how you started this. Thanks for speaking truth so eloquently


    1. mrsmcmommy Post author

      Oh, man, how do I even explain how this came about??? Lol. How far back do you want me to go? 😁
      I struggled with postpartum depression really, really terribly after my second child was born in September of 2013, and when I finally decided to seek biblical wisdom about how to cope, I had to drive almost 45 minutes to see a “certified” biblical counselor. He was really wonderful, and I’m glad I went to see what he had to offer! But, honestly, the thing that really helped me the most during my dark days of fear and hopelessness and suffering was just going to my parents’ house and basically EXISTING in their space for a few months. There was no agenda. I ate their food and sat on their couch and just let my kids play around us while I talked to my dad… Or just sat there quietly. It didn’t really matter.

      The thought of being alone at home was terrifying for awhile. So my dad kept telling me, “You don’t need an excuse. If you want to come over, just come over. We’ll feed you and the kids and just BE.” I was still in the throes of depression, but at least I wasn’t alone. So, I never forgot that, even as I recovered.

      When my sisters started having babies, I told them the exact same things. I told them their story may be different from mine BUT if they find themselves feeling lonely and needing somewhere to go, they don’t need an excuse. There won’t be an agenda. I’ll probably keep doing laundry and washing dishes and basically carry on with life while they’re here, but they’re welcome to do life WITH me.

      It’s okay if their kids are crying, because mine will cry, too.

      It’s okay if you don’t FEEL like coming, because I won’t be offended. 😅 (Although, we do admit that many times the days we don’t want to see each other–because we’re in bad moods and mad at our husbands–are probably the days we need the accountability the most.)

      In the last 4 or 5 years we’ve had literally hours worth of conversations about anything/everything/nothing. We’ve birthed more babies and struggled through health issues and fought and misunderstood each other and made up.

      But we’ve seen over and over how amazing it is when women work TOGETHER to raise their babies for God’s glory.

      Liked by 1 person


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