(Language Warning. What’s in our hearts will come out of our mouths, and today’s post features a few people with hearts full of rage…)
One of the things that gets repeated by feminists fairly often is, “We must teach boys how to respect women and control their impulses.”
Yesterday, the women making this point were mad because they were asked to cover their breasts at the city pool while breastfeeding. Many people mentioned the teenaged boys who would be surprised to catch an eyeful of a stranger’s boob when it’s not supposed to be a nude beach.
Here are examples of the responses:
I totally agree with the ladies saying it’s a mother’s responsibility to teach her boys how to respect others. But, I think we’ve forgotten that parents teach those lessons by MODELING THEM.
We must PRACTICE what we want them to learn.
Who’s modeling behavior that teaches a boy he is entitled to a woman’s body?
Is it the mothers showing their infants/toddler’s how to cover themselves in public? Or is it those who don’t believe in breastfeeding rules because their kids should get whatever they want “on demand.”
Who’s teaching their sons that only their perceived needs matter?
The mothers showing consideration for the other people in a room? Or the ones saying–point blank–they don’t care what anyone else thinks or feels?
Which mothers are teaching their sons to respect personal boundaries?
Is it the mothers who demonstrate “modesty” and SELF-respect?
Or is it the ones who discover that their actions are causing someone to feel uncomfortable–and so they GO EVEN FURTHER, to flex their power?*
If a man shared increasingly revealing pictures of his body on public bulletin boards, not just despite but BECAUSE people told him they didn’t like it, we’d all be creeped out… How is that not sexual harrassment?
It’s completely unacceptable.
And it wouldn’t suddenly become okay if the dude put a baby on his lap. In fact, using that innocent child as a defense of his creepy behavior would make it even worse.
So, I agree that it’s up to parents to teach their children what is acceptable and what isn’t. It’s heartbreaking that so many beautiful and natural things are being corrupted by unmasked selfishness. Neither the man who views women as sex objects nor the woman who uses her children for attention are making the world a better place.
We MUST teach our boys not to be self-focused and entitled.
We MUST teach our boys they can’t have everything they want, on demand.
We MUST teach them to have RESPECT for their fellow humans and SELF-CONTROL, even when they are tempted to give into their animal instincts and force their will on others.
And–in exactly the same way–we must teach these things to our daughters. To borrow a comment from a certain Anonymous Poster up above, “If you have a daughter who fails to cover her body in public, you’ve obviously failed as a mother to teach her a) how to respect herself and b) how to respect others.” (That goes double if she swears like a sailor every time she’s caught behaving badly instead of taking responsibility and correcting it.) “I hope you never allow your daughters to go to the beach.”
The world needs mothers who are willing to teach their children how to avoid being aggressive, self-centered monsters… which we will do by avoiding becoming aggressive, self-centered monsters ourselves.
(*Note: I strongly considered publishing these pictures and comments with names attached. After all, the women posted these things publicly, expecting strangers to see them, and they insist there is nothing to be ashamed of. But I finally decided to protect their identities for simplicity and my own peace of mind… This post is about criticizing the toxic ATTITUDE–it’s not about pin-pointing the specific people who have it.)