Monthly Archives: February 2019

Learn to Laugh

If you want an example of how NOT to react when someone teases or mocks you, the prickly spoilsports at Think Progress have written this article.


They didn’t do it intentionally. But it’s the perfect demonstration of what bullied kids always do wrong: take themselves waaaaaay too seriously.

From the very beginning, the author gives a clear indication that she lacks a sense of humor by explaining (with an awkward air of importance) how trolling works:

““Learn to code” is a linguistic dog whistle. To the uninitiated, it makes absolutely no sense; but to the target, it registers with perfect and cruel specificity…”

Uh…have you ever heard a more pretentious way of describing “teasing?”

Seriously–journalists are being teased. That’s it.

Roughly 1000 writers lost their jobs last week. And, instead of being sympathetic, some trolls have been (sarcastically) telling them to “learn how to code,” which the trolls view as a more marketable skill than their old roles in producing “fake news.”

And, honestly, when Chloe Angyal tweets stuff like THIS, how can she not know how funny it is?


Gender politics?


I mean, does she really think people are going to pass her resume to all their friends looking for an opinion editor?

So, yes, Glorified Bloggers are being laid off, and they have become the butt of many jokes.

But, still, rather than return with jokes of her own, the author of the Think Progress article only drones on and on about the “sinister” and “threatening” memes with a painful seriousness:

“Brigading is an online harassment tactic. [It’s] a means of rallying troops that typically begins in some of the far-right friendly internet forums…

There, would-be harassers are armed with the meme, hashtag, or language of the attack, which they then direct toward a target on Twitter or Facebook. “The goal is, essentially, to drive [the victim] off the internet or make their life miserable,” said Taylor Lorenz, a staff writer at The Atlantic covering internet culture. “To make it harder for them to do their job…”



“Brigading” is a fancy term for “trolling.” And anyone who doesn’t know this already has no business being paid to write things for the internet.

Trolls TRY to get under your skin.

Bullies say things that are intentionally upsetting.

How in the world can anyone make it to adulthood without learning how to handle that stuff?

I’m going to make this a simple as I possibly can:

When someone is taunting, teasing, or mocking you, the last thing you should do is write a 3000 word essay announcing, “WE’RE UNDER ATTACK!”

You’re actually giving the Meanies legitimacy when you react with horror and anger

Wouldn’t you like to learn how to laugh it off?

For anyone who may be interested in a much better way to deflect mean words, let me introduce you to Brooks Gibbs.

He makes a living teaching “social and emotional workshops” to kids in schools across the country, but his lessons are good for any age.


When people are laughing at you–there are two options.

Try to stop them.

Or find a way to laugh with them.

…but only one of those choices actually works.

The Think Progress article demonstrates that certain journalists (like all humorless individuals) are afraid of being the butt of a joke. 

They give fancy terms to the joking (like “Brigading Campaigns”) because it really does feel to them like they’re being attacked by an overwhelming army.

Emotionally weak people are SCARED of the power of memes, because they don’t have the ability to return the laughter.

Not knowing how to take (and tell) a joke is like seeing a canon come rolling up the street toward you, while you’re holding a squirt gun. 

The writers at Think Progress decided to squirt a few tears at their ideological enemies, but the result was just uncomfortable…and ineffective…and worthy of MORE mocking.

Humans will NEVER be able to fight laughter with fear.  Their feeble response only fuels the groups who are laughing at their expense.

(And, I’m sorry, but writing 3000 words about the danger of the phrase “Learn to Code” IS laughable… in an awkward kind of way.)  Joy, fun, and humor are more powerful. Thus, people with senses of humor will win those cultural battles every, single time.

Journalists are correct to say they’re being “attacked” by Twitter users who have “weaponized” a phrase. They are being overcome by something they cannot fight against…unless and until they learn how to “weaponize” laughter, too.

The final line of that article is just as weak and tragic as the rest of it:

“The internet is truly a horrifying place for a journalist right now.”

–Someone Who Doesn’t Know How Mockable That Sounds

It’s probably true. But, unfortunately for this woman, the internet isn’t the only dangerous place.

The entire WORLD is a horrying place for anyone who hasn’t learned how to handle being the butt of a sophisticated joke. If they see that people are piling on with a hurtful jab like “learn to code,” will they keep reacting exactly like the bullies want them to react?

Or will they learn from people like Brooks Gibbs how to rise above it?

Here’s my advice, for those who are absolutely terrified of being mocked:

Learn to laugh.

You Can Miss Me With That Superiority

A few days ago, Jen Hatmaker was lamenting that Christians don’t talk “normal.”

2.2.19 Hatmaker Christianese

One problem with her random complaint was that it lacked any context.  She didn’t give examples of language that is “cold” and “sterile.”

Mostly she just launched a bunch of vague, broad-brush accusations about how Christianese makes her hair stand up because it’s so “lazy” and “coded” and it just sounds “super weird!!!”

And then–to demonstrate how far she has come in her quest to be more normal–Jen declared: “You Can Miss Me With That!”

“YOU CAN MISS ME WITH THAT!”  –Jen Hatmaker, avoiding “Christianese”

Well, she doesn’t sound like a church lady.  That’s true.

But it’s more than a little ironic that I had to spend ten minutes explaining to my sister-in-law what that phrase even means:

Megan: “Apparently I am not trendy or hip enough to understand what ‘miss me with that’ means. I’m not Millennial enough, apparently, to get that code.”

Me: “It’s slang.”

Megan: “I’m still trying to figure it out! ‘Miss Me With That?’ …I’m going to have to Google it.”

Me: “It’s like saying ‘I don’t need that mess.’ You know?  Or like, when people say, ‘I’m not tryna be [blank]’  So, you could say, “I’m not tryna hear that negativity. You can miss me with it.”

Megan:   *blank stare*


By the end of the conversation both of us were laughing.

Because, there’s absolutely nothing “normal” about two white women trying out phrases they found on Urban Dictionary.

And, from where I’m sitting, it doesn’t sound “normal” when Jen Hatmaker says it, either…

It sounds like she’s trying too hard to impress certain people…to judge with a clear conscience, though the fruit is rotten.

If she had given some background about what inspired this post, I might have been able to agree with some of it. (My regular readers know I’m not afraid to criticize Church Culture, when it’s warranted and the criticism is specific.)

But, without the specifics, it seems as though Jen keeps things vauge on purpose, knowing that her followers want her to exchange those OLD “coded” phrases with NEW ones.


Sorry if that’s blunt.

Maybe someone who speaks Millennial can give me the nice, warm, “normal” way I should say it…

But it just bothers me when Americans talk about appreciating various cultures and preserving the beauty of other people’s language–but we can’t give the same respect to our own mothers, fathers, sisters, and brothers. 

I mean, imagine if Jen had grown up speaking Mandarin, and then she went on Social media and blasted “Weird Chinese Talk.”

That would raise some eyebrows, wouldn’t it?

Hatmaker Commenter 6

When someone detests their Native Tongue–and they want everyone else to stop speaking it, too–isn’t that a personal problem?

2.2.19 Hatmaker Commenter 4

Wow.  So, because their language turns you violent, THEY should change?

2.2.19 Hatmaker Commenter 6

The truth is, I know exactly what this woman is talking about. Certain expressions hit me wrong all the time–like whenever someone talks about their own “empathy.”

2.2.19 Hatmaker Commenter 1

Ah, there it is! The obligatory seal of a person who no longer speaks Christianese: an unnecessary (but very cool!) swear word.

“Bullshit.”  –former church employee, avoiding Christianese

I’m going to wrap this up now, because I need to go ask my sister-in-law if she knows what “IT HAS BEEN A MINUTE” means…

But my point is, jargon isn’t a bad thing.  In fact ALL groups use it–including your new, “normal,” group of Christians who overuse the phrase “sound like Jesus” and who talk a lot about their own empathy and who wax eloquent about “caring for someone’s soul and belovedness” as if that string of words makes perfect sense.

My dear sisters, there is nothing wrong with a group of people developing ways of communicating that sound confusing until you spend more time with them.

What’s wrong is when you despise another group for how they speak.

If Jen is inviting us to air our petty grievances against Church People, and we’re accepting that invitation and piling on in the comment section only because it makes us feel better than they are, well…

You can miss me with that.