Allow Me to Judge For a Second…

I noticed some people being judgmental on Facebook yesterday. So I took some screenshots.

The background story is,  Mr. Romantic (represented with the color blue) split up with his wife about a year ago. Almost immediately, he began his relationship with a new flame (in the black boxes).

Blue has been a leader in several churches the last few years, and many (most?) of his Facebook friends know both he and his ex-wife in real life.  That’s why it was a liiiiiittle surprising to see that Black posted THIS publicly:

7.18.18 To the Woman Who Let Him Go (edit)

I’m not sure what my readers are thinking after reading that.


Is it along the lines of “That is so awesome” and “Love this” ???

7.18.18 To the Woman Who Let Him Go (edit #3)

That’s what the judgmental people said on Facebook.

Apparently they’ve judged there isn’t anything harmful about ragging on “the ex” with a self-promotional rant.

They’ve judged, simply, that two individuals are so deeply and thoroughly in love they can’t help but make declarations like this one (over and over and over).

Perhaps it’s obvious to them that his new leading lady WILL do a much better job loving Mr. Romantic than old Whats-Her-Name was doing twelve months ago.

7.18.18 To the Woman Who Let Him Go (edit #2)

Yes–and it wouldn’t be a bunch of Christians judging each other without the obligatory announcement that ALL of this was God’s plan from the beginning.

The first marriage.

The divorce.

The mean-spirited Facebook post horribly lacking in self-awareness.

God ordained all of it!  Probably.

It’s wonderful and beautiful the way our Lord pulls apart two people who were wrong for each other, in order to bring together the next Power Couple.

7.18.18 Power Couple (edit)



Dear reader, what is your response to that?

(I’m going to guess it’s “Awesome.”)


7.18.18 Power Couple (edit #2)

Congratulations to the happy couple!

Surely there’s no reason anyone should write a sarcastic blog post calling them out–as well as calling out all of their cheerleaders?

No good could come from that…

The best response should be praise. OR, if you can’t support their destructive decisions, the next best response is silence.

Yes–if we can’t say something nice, then we shouldn’t say anything at all.

Because the Power Couple isn’t hurting anybody. They’re not using eachother and damaging the credibility of church leadership and setting themselves up as examples of love, which they absolutely do not understand!

So just leave them alone.

Judge them positively, or don’t judge them at all.

In fact, judge anyone who dares suggest this relationship isn’t awesome, beautiful, and God-Ordained.

13 thoughts on “Allow Me to Judge For a Second…

  1. Jen Toledo

    All I’ve got is “WHAT???????” What Godly person “rooted in the truth of scripture” says something like that??? Cruel and probably not so unusual. How sad!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Sam

    I’ve seen this on social media and wondered how to respond. Not necessarily with church leaders, but still a strange issue. What sort of thought process comes up with God’s plan involving a broken covenant?
    Are you recommending an online confrontation for this sort of thing?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. mrsmcmommy Post author

      I confess to being conflicted and not 100% sure if there is a best course of action.
      But, I do think there needs to be some sort of public component to addressing the sin, since it’s being posted publicly in the first place.

      … Maybe saying to those individuals on Facebook “I’d like to speak with you privately about this,” or something? It sort of reminds me of when the teacher used to say “I’ll need to see you in the hall.” Everyone knew they weren’t eating cookies out there…

      But I really don’t know. :/


  3. Gene

    Do you think in a few years Old Blue might have a different black boxed friend saying the same things about her? Ya know since “God’s plan” is pretty much whatever makes him feel good at the time, and infatuation will eventually wear off…and he’ll realize she too is a woman…prone to making mistakes…of course he never does anything wrong though, right? Ha.

    You have a strong voice, Amanda, and it’s not okay to brush this sort of thing off. It makes me angry when people in leadership (Christians in general) don’t take God’s Word seriously or even neglect it altogether. Tread lightly, and I ask Holy Spirit to guide your steps.

    “I hate divorce” says the LORD, “for it covers one’s garment with violence, “
    Malachi 2:16

    Liked by 1 person

    1. mrsmcmommy Post author

      There DEFINITELY will be more “black boxes” in the future if the Church can’t help guide him toward making better choices.

      Thank you for understanding my dilemma in this! I genuinely appreciate the prayers!


  4. Wally Fry

    Sigh. Ok, the divorced gut timidly raises his hand to speak. First, those folks seem to be almost celebrating the divorce. That’s just wrong. Not that I have an excuse, but at the time of mine I was one of the raging heathen, and didn’t actually know divorce was a problem for God, nor would I have cared had I known. Here is the tough part, for both my wife and I. I suppose, God not being clueless, seems to place people in our paths who may be struggling in this area. Like it or not, we have to speak Biblical truth to them, despite our own failures(Mine, anyway. Hers I would say was for Biblical reasons.) Helping others to NOT fail in an area where you glaringly failed must be handled with care and compassion. Yet, folks keep popping up or our radar, and so we try to help as we can. We try to be fully honest and transparent about our own past, so that hypocrite label is less likely to be applied. While God has taken what we screwed up and made something honoring to Him(I pray,) He surely didn’t plan it that way. Ugh, not THAT made my head hurt to ponder. We certainly don’t celebrate the past and gloat about it, even though it’s true we are both far better off. Not sure if I made any sense here, but thems my two cents.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. mrsmcmommy Post author

      Thanks for weighing in, Wally. 🙂

      Not all divorced individuals have commitment issues. (Some of them were left without a choice in the matter.) But other cases are obvious, when they invoice selfishness and immaturity by one or both individuals following their shifting feelings.

      When someone bounces around several jobs and several churches AND several love-interests, there seems to be a deeper commitment issue…


      1. Wally Fry

        Well, you nailed a lot of stuff down there, Amanda. It’s all about committment, in all of those areas. Sort of. I say it’s about selfishness and self interest. We want what we want, when we want it, instead of getting with the plan God has. But, that’s been the human problem from the very beginning hasn’t it?

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Pingback: Love Doesn’t Tingle | Cultures at War

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