I’ve heard from many Pop-Parenting Gurus that you can’t spoil a baby…
(I agree, for the record, that you can’t “love” a baby too much.)
But, if there’s no such thing as a spoiled baby, is there really such thing as a spoiled child, either? Or a spoiled teenager?
And, if we can agree it IS possible for young humans to learn bad habits from their over-indulgent parents, then at what age do we magically change from Unspoilable Babies into Spoilable Kids?
Once again. I agree. The problem isn’t “too much love.”
But spoiled children exist, and I’ll tell you how they get that way…
We spoil children when we repeatedly do things for them which they should be learning to do for themselves. Over time, this teaches them not only that Mom and Dad can be trusted to meet their needs–but ALSO Mom and Dad will bend over backwards to grant their “wants” as well.
So, yes, spoiling can include picking up a baby every, single time it cries.
This is especially true if the parent can’t tell the difference between a baby with an immediate need and a baby who is fed/clean/uninjured and simply mildly inconvenienced by something, such as a big sibling who is injured and stealing some of baby’s 24-hour lap-sitting time…
That’s not to say all so-called “attachment parents” are spoiling their children by “loving them.”
It’s to say that SOME so-called attachment parents are spoiling their children by confusing “love” with “jumping when told.”