It’s Science!

Science doesn’t “say” anything.

Occasionally, a scientist will get involved with a cultural debate by sharing his/her opinions.  But, most of the time scientists are too busy asking questions and doing experiments to say for certain whether God exists or whether you “should” use cloth diapers or co-sleep with your baby.

So, when someone claims that “science says” something, what they mean is:

“Scientists published a research paper, which was interpreted by an internet magazine, which was turned into click bait by a few bloggers that I follow…

…and then I did some ‘research’ which involved Googling ‘Why Vaccines Will Kill You’…

…and that’s how I came to be educated about THE SCIENCE!”

The enlightened scholars rarely admit that research papers only take small samples of populations–and then publish suggestions about what might be happening to cause a certain result.

If they ever actually read any of the studies, they might stop pretending that scientific literature ever says anything like, “Therefore, you are correct and your mother-in-law is wrong–and spanking REALLY IS child abuse. Case closed.”

(No, that would be the internet magazine editor who came to that conclusion.)

But explaining this to an Enlightened Internet Scholar may be a lost cause.

Whatever skepticism they are capable of using, they tend to reserve ALL of it for any research papers that disagree with their favorite theories…

“Well, that’s just one, small study!”

Or, “That research group is known to be biased!”

Or, “Correlation does not equal causation!”

They simply will not apply the same criticisms, with the same intensity, to their own  side.

Therefore, if you can’t beat them, join them!

Don’t try to reason with a person who honestly believes “science says” the same thing as an opinion piece in “Psychology Today.”

Instead, just show them:

There is a God. (click)

Crying-to-sleep doesn’t damage children. (click)

Vaccines don’t cause autism. (click)

(Also, parents ought to spank their kids!)

*shrugs* If you want to stay ignorant, that’s fine with me.

I’M JUST TELLING YOU WHAT THE SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH SAYS!!!

 

Sanctimommy

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9 thoughts on “It’s Science!

      1. Wally Fry

        Hey, that’s for real, you know. I was told that once in fact. I try to keep my place clean and suitable for family reading, and asked a commenter to clean it up a bit. Almost immediately, ANOTHER commenter linked a study proving people who swear a lot are smarter. Seriously, I am not making that up.

        Like

      2. mrsmcmommy Post author

        lol. I believe you, Wally! I’ve been linked to the same study…well, actually linked to a Huffington Post write-up about the study…by certain Enlightened Scholars! 😉

        Like

  1. silenceofmind

    Most doctors that I visit either want to drug me silly or shuffle me off to Buffalo.

    But I always strenuously insist that they practice medicine on me.

    They eventually see the light and do as they are told.

    The same goes for lawyers and auto mechanics (in their respective fields, not medicine).

    Like

    Reply
    1. mrsmcmommy Post author

      I’ve found that “Mommy Groups” on Facebook are THE WORST…
      (I mean, not to one-up your struggles. But, really, you should pity me.) 😉

      There’s nothing like a hormonal female with human-pups, to rationalize literally whatever she wants to do with “science.”

      Like

      Reply
      1. silenceofmind

        Mrs. Mc,

        One day long ago I boldly and proudly told my story of the Raining Butt Cloud of God, but got one-upped by a lady who told her story of the Alaskan Ice Penis.

        My head has been hanging in shame ever since, so don’t worry about it.

        Like

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