I’ve heard people lament, “If only I had known what I know now…I would have done [THAT THING] totally differently!”
Most often, this applies to people who wish they could get their childhood back or to grandmothers/grandfathers who wish they could get their child’s childhood back and raise them differently…
These folks long for a time machine, saying things like, “Those years are precious.”
“Don’t take it for granted like I did!”
Those who miss their own youth declare, “I would love to be care-free again!”
Those who have regrets about how they parented will say, “I would yell less and cuddle more….the time is so short!”
But, forgive me for noticing: that sounds like a typical grandmother talking–not a mother.
I wonder, would it really be such a good thing, if we could go back in time to “savor” those “precious moments”?
Or, would changing the past end up changing who WE ARE, negatively?
Children aren’t designed to be raised by grandmothers who just want to cuddle.
We know bad things happen, when kids are doted upon and indulged by a “grandmotherly” figure who believes the world revolves around them.
If grandmothers could go back in time and raise their children the way they want their grandchildren raised, I’m afraid the results would be disastrous.
Likewise, people who long for their own childhood only appreciate how great things were because they can see things with an adult perspective now. The adult-mind is what makes the child-memories so sweet.
But, if an adult COULD go back in time and become a child again, all of those innocent, child-experiences would be ruined. They wouldn’t be innocent or childlike anymore. In fact, there’s nothing “precious” about a lazy adult who (immaturely) chooses not to grow up…
Can’t we just be happy with the way things are?
Can’t we recognize that past experiences lead to our current reality, and if we have any sort of wisdom to offer, it’s because we earned it through all those things we say we want to change?
Playing the “what if” game doesn’t help anyone.
And, more importantly, we may be doing actual harm by warning young children and young parents not to make the same “mistakes” we did.
Maybe taking certain things for granted is a normal part of the human experience. Maybe children/mothers HAVE to under-appreciate those “precious moments” in order to become adults (or doting Grandmas) themselves someday?
Why would we rob them of that?
It really isn’t such a great thing when adults try to hang on to their childhoods. And we don’t really want parents to re-raise their children after gaining a more “grandmotherly” philosophy.
They may think they would do things differently. But, in many cases, maybe we should be glad they can’t.