Both Mom and Dad

They’re having a Daddy-Daughter Date Night at our church in a couple of weeks, but my husband is scheduled to work…

We decided not to tell our 5-year-old girl about the Date at all, so she won’t be disappointed. But I saw something on Facebook today that made me think… “Hey! Maybe I can paint on a beard and solve this problem!”

Please note, this mom is attempting to give her son a “normal” life.



Also, please note the many commenters encouraging her and agreeing that she has done a great job filling the roles of BOTH “Mommy and Daddy.”

2.10.17 Mommy and Daddy.png

So, there you have it.

The jury is in, and here’s the verdict: a little facepaint and wishful thinking CAN turn you into whatever they’re missing.

Maybe I should dress like a man and start calling myself “Daddy” whenever Luke is unable to attend important events.

But…wait… why stop there?

Are you disappointed your child doesn’t have an “Abraham Lincoln” to look up to?

Here’s a solution:



Do you want your kid to have a brilliant rocket scientist in his/her life?



Do you want to be “Mommy” AND “Daddy” AND “teacher”  AND “best friend” AND “superhero”???



Great mommies will be all of those things (and more!) So, that costume ought to do it, right? (Plus, don’t forget the really humble, totally not-attention-seeking post about yourself on Instagram, when you encourage people to share!)

If your child is missing someone important in his/her life, just find a good tailor/seamstress and fill that void!

A father is just a mom with a ball cap and goatee. So they can be replaced by any single mom with good intentions.



Or, maybe my daughter will just stay home from the Daddy-Daughter Date this year, out of respect for the #1 Man in her life.

Because maybe…just maybe…to pretend it’s possible for a well-meaning woman to do a daddy’s job is to insult the good fathers everywhere.

4 thoughts on “Both Mom and Dad

  1. Jacob

    Hi Amanda,
    I saw this story about a week ago and while it’s framed as a heartwarming story there was something about this viral piece that didn’t sit right with me, thanks for pointing out the troubling subtext, a mother with a baseball cap and fake beard *is not* a father.

    This brings me to another scene. About a year ago, Chase Bank made a commercial where a father dresses as a fairy for his daughter’s birthday. You may have seen it, but if not would you mind watching it on YouTube? It’s under “College Savings with Fairy Dadmother” (Be sure to watch the full one minute video.)

    Did you watch it? Creepy right? At least that was my impression. To a lot of people on Facebook and Twitter, almost entirely women, the commercial was “sweet”, ” adorable” and even brought some to tears. They gushed about how great of a dad this man was and one person even commented that “real men” will do *anything* for their children.

    Amanda, I look forward with great anticipation to the day that I get to be a father. I would love to have daughters and do my best to raise them.
    Cook meals for them? Sure.
    Drive them to friend’s houses? Absolutely.
    Wear makeup, pantyhose and a wig? Hell no.

    I’m sure that some women, even some Christian women, would admonish me to “man up” and just put on the outfit. I would probably be accused of being “insecure in my masculinity”. (A favorite feminist tactic) Here’s the thing Amanda, children today are absolutely bombarded with messages intended to confuse their understanding of gender, masculinity and femininity. The last thing these vulnerable children need is their own parents contributing to the confusion so I refuse to play along. My children will receive a masculine influence from me and a feminine influence from their mother.

    I wanted to keep this comment as brief as possible. I am really am glad I discovered your blog Amanda! I find your tone to be refreshing and a pleasant change of pace from most Christian mommy blogs. Keep up the great work!

    P.S. The Christian blogger Dalrock has a informative blog post about the hidden motivations of this ad under the title of “How to be a hero.”


    1. mrsmcmommy Post author

      Dalrock, you say? About five years ago, I was devouring pretty much everything he’d ever written. I didn’t know many others had heard of him. And I didn’t realize he was still writing!

      I had seen that commercial before, but thanks for the reminder. I guess I don’t have a major problem with a father (or mother) dressing in a goofy costume to make a child laugh. The issue is when the parent actually believes they can fill an opposite-gender void, and REPLACE the mother/father, just by playing pretend.

      Daddy being funny is one thing. Daddy seriously believing that he can be a “godmother” is another.



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