Sincerely, from The Milk Mafia

As a white, middle class woman living in one of the most powerful countries in the world, I was afraid I didn’t have much to complain about. On one hand, life is good. But a good life can be so boring.

Luckily, I joined a local support group for breastfeeding mothers and learned–much to my relief–that I am oppressed!

Yes!

People hate me! Or, to be more accurate, they hate my son for breastfeeding.

Or…to be more accurate, they feel weird when I feed my son in public places without a cover…and then, when they ask me to be more discreet, they hate when I inform them of the law.  (Let me educate you: the law says that a breastfeeding mother’s feelings/opinions matter more than yours.)

Yeah, and people really hate whenever I rally a bunch of angry friends to protest and nurse in their faces. Or when I say that nobody can tell me how to parent my nursling–but then I tell other mothers how to parent their teenage sons who stare at me…they hate that, too!

So, in other words, they hate me.

And I’m oppressed.

But don’t worry because I’m a fighter. I won’t let them bring me down!

Any time somebody approaches me with my baby at my chest, I already know what I’m going to say to them.

They usually start with, “Excuse me? Would you mind using a cover?” and before they can continue, I tell them: YOU NEED EDUCATION! What I’m doing is healthy, natural, and beautiful and I need to do it right HERE, right NOW.

Then I whip out my pamphlet explaining that the law says I can make people uncomfortable as much as I want. And, of course, that’s all the matters. If the law says I can, then I’m going to do it, regardless.

Also, thankfully, I have a great support system on the internet. (It’s important for oppressed people to have a support system.)

All I have to do is tell the ladies on Militant Milk Mamas about the stranger who dared ask for a little courtesy, and they will fight for me! If the whole ordeal rattled me or made me cry, they will be even louder.

What do we want?

ATTENTION!
No, AWARENESS!

When do we want it?

When the BABIES DECIDE!

That’s right. I don’t do this for myself. It’s for my baby. He tells me when and where to pull up my shirt, and he decides whether or not I cover him in the process. Lots of the other members at Militant Milk Mamas use this method, which makes it much easier to ignore the people who don’t.

Some people have argued that it really isn’t an issue of discrimination. (They’ve told me it’s not about right/wrong so much as the ugly attitude I get whenever I can’t see beyond myself.)

But, I simply retreat to my support group to be reminded we’re right. Everything is all about us our babies. It’s totally worth all the drama, because breastfeeding mothers have the right to be as obnoxious as they want to be!

I’m so glad I learned that I’m a victim of oppression.  (What would I do without my support group? Empathize with people who are more modest than me?  Cooperate and compromise? No thanks!)

My friends and I won’t be happy until everybody thinks/feels exactly as we do. In fact, if the law said we could walk around naked–then, by golly, we would do it–just to have the chance to educate you…

Be looking for your pamphlet, you ignorant prude.

Sincerely,
-The Newest Initiate of the Milk Mafia

—-

Proverbs 16:27-29 ” Idle hands are the devil’s workshop….”

Advertisements

8 thoughts on “Sincerely, from The Milk Mafia

  1. bethagrace

    Hmm…. You talk all the time about how people shouldn’t be able to tell others what to do just because they’re offended. But here we have an issue of that and you conveniently change the word “offended” to “uncomfortable.”

    Are you really, as your tagline says, “questioning everything”? Or are you falling into the same trap you accuse others of?

    Like

    Reply
    1. mrsmcmommy Post author

      Maybe it’s not clear in a satirical piece, but I don’t think I’ve changed much here…

      I’ve always said nobody should use the force of law to MAKE others agree. And, I’ve always believed business owners should have the right to decide how to operate. Breastfeeding mothers are using the same bully tactics as the gay couple that waltzes into a Christian bakery to kiss passionately…

      It’s not ILLEGAL for them to do that–but it sure is obnoxious.

      I’d be just as unsupportive if a Buddhist store clerk made a policy asking Christians to cool it with the Jesus stuff–so a whole posse of us showed up with WWJD T-shirts. What does this accomplish?

      Everybody is out fighting for their “rights.” I mean EVERYBODY. But, if we have any hope of moving away from Big Government, then both libs AND Conservatives are going to need to stop grabbing lawyers every time their feelings get hurt. 🙂

      Like

      Reply
    2. mrsmcmommy Post author

      By the way, the back story is someone in my city is fighting with a local businessman because he ASKED her if she would use a cover because some other mothers thought she was being indecent. (He received complaints that their teenage sons were uncomfortable). It’s a tough spot for a business owner. He’s in trouble no matter what he does… So, though he tried to reach a compromise, there is no middle ground in liberal dogma. As with the gay lobbyists, the breastfeeding mothers took this story as proof that they are persecuted…

      Anyway, you’re correct that I’m ticking off a new set of people with this post. But–indeed–I’m questioning everything, even if it’s the actions of people I’d happily chat-and-nurse with, in most other circumstances.

      Like

      Reply
  2. Pingback: Another Mission for the Motherhood Mafia | Cultures at War

  3. Pingback: On Demand | Cultures at War

  4. Pingback: Ladies–Own Your Stuff (an Open Letter from the Cranky Matron) | Cultures at War

  5. Pingback: Another Mission for the Motherhood Mafia | Cultures at War

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s